Learn to wait

Life is short and many times it is full of ups and downs. Can anyone actually live a perfect and wonderful life without any challenges and down time? I doubt so. Everyone either is experiencing down time or is going to experience down time. It is not because I am a pessimistic people, but because it is the reality. It is because of human being's sin which cause ourselves to be painful and be separated from God's joy.

Since it is reality for almost everyone, what can people actually do when they have down time? Some positive people may ignore such thing or forget the bad things happened before. Are they truly be positive and have not got upset ever? I don't think so. People will have time feel lonely and sad, it is human nature. Even though we can have fun with friends and with family members, this cannot eliminate the fact of sadness we encounter everyday. How about pessimistic people? They will feel so bad when something bad happened to them. They will remember all bad things that happened to them before. No man is free from pain and suffering.

We cannot change the world around us. We cannot change the reality. However, God provide us a way out, that is, to look upon Him and everything will be calmed down. In the down time or sadness, we will certainly be sad and not satisfied. However, if we can truly look upon God, we shall not focus on what happens around us. When we look upon God, we will remember the wonderful works God has done to us and full of thankfulness. Although things around us change dramatically everyday, our God is always our refuge and be our comforter.

However, is God what people invent to make them feel better when bad things happen? I used to think that God is invented by human being. However, if God does not exist and is only our imagination, how can it hold people for so long time, and not only for one people, but for millions and billions. There must be something that is true behind the scene although we cannot directly see it. No lie can keep people believe. However, there are many other religion who firmly believe there is God and their God is different from mine, are they in a lie? If so, why does the lie can keep them believe? There are some possible explanations to this. First, maybe such religion raises up people's selfish desires to pursue their own good, either power or fame. There maybe other reason that if we believe in God, there should also have evil, evil will let people get away from the true God. Evil spirit can also have supernatural power to dilute people to believe in false God. How tragedy it is!

There is much to say about why people feel sad and suffering, especially during the time that we cannot see the future and waiting for something. It requires for patience to wait for the Lord's promise, but the process is sometimes painful and not good. However, if we believe in God, no matter what He does to us, we will have no doubt because He controls the future, He has the global optimization for everyone of us. I have peace in Him. Thank you LORD!

Why do I complain?

When something does not happen to be like the way I want it to be, I start complaining to God, saying why you did this to me, why not do this and that to me? Oh, poor me when I said so. Whom am I that I can complain to the LORD who create the whole universe. Doesn't He give and also take away? Am I not doomed to be perished before? What I am worthy of His love and mercy? I have nothing that is cherished in His eyes. I was only a rebelled children who do not know Him beforehand, but because of His grace and mercy that I can be called righteous and son of God. What a precious God has given to me? What else shall I complain for?

What is my love in this world? What is my preference for my everyday? Is it my fame, my salary, my everything except God? Poor me if I put all those perishable things in front of God. God is the most precious thing in my life, even though I am suffering, I still praise the Lord; even if I did not get what I wanted, I still praise the Lord; even if I get the thing God has prepared for me, I still praise the Lord! He is my all in all. What else shall I complain to Him? Lord, forgive me if I sometimes consciously or unconsciously put others thing ahead of you. You are my creator, how should I complain? No, definitely not. I will sing song and praise You because You has already invited me into your kingdom and be one part of it.

Like what Paul wrote in

Romans 8:35
"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?"

Romans 8:37-39
"No, in all these things we are more than conquerers through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Paul also wrote in
Romans 9:20-21
"But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? "Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?'" Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?"

Lord, you know my heart, you know my anguish, you know my trouble inside my heart. I will praise your name over the nations no matter where you lead me to. Your name is worthy of praise. Your love is more enough for me to go through my difficulties. Lord you give and take away, may your name be praised. May you continue purifying my heart and let the Holy Spirit guide me to walk on the road which leads to you. God the Father, Christ the Son, and Holy Spirit the comforter be glorified for ever and ever.

AMEN!

The happiest moment is the time I cried the worst when I pray

Every time when I cried so badly when I pray, I am really crying like a baby. It is not because of I lose something, or something really bad happens to me, it is because God's spirit touch my heart so deeply and so vividly. After the crying, I can feel something different, a peace that cannot be described, that is the assurance, knowing that God has controlled everything, either good or bad. He is in charge.

Today, after I watched Brother Leaf's preach, I was touched by how God changes his life and how God make a proud people into someone who is really humble in front of God. Praise the Lord! God urge me to pray to Him. I was deeply touched by His Spirit again so badly. In my pray, I have remembered many verses from the bible which I did not quite understand before. One verse is about: 'You can never see kingdom of God unless you are reborn.' This is from John 3 I guess. Wow, I suddenly realize. Yes, it is true. Unless we are reborn in Him, we can never understand God. We will thought the teaching from Jesus is foolish, we may complain to God very often because we don't understand some of His behavior. Wow, God's words are like a knife which pierce into my heart, making me truly thankful because He has chosen me even though I was so proud before. All I have is thanks to God, thank for His grace, which is totally free, which is the blood of Jesus Christ. Wow, how wonderful. God has given us the best thing in the world. That is one of the most wonderful time in my life.

The other verse I remembered is "Now, it is not me who live inside me, but Jesus Christ." I pray that God will let me to live everyday for Him, and let the Holy Spirit to guide my life within Him. Wow. That is also very wonderful. I know that is what has revealed inside my heart. Before, I was always confused how to deal with my sin everyday, such as procrastination, low efficiency, watch porn videos, lazy, proud, jealousy, and bitterness. I fall on those sins again and again. But I forgot what God said, it is not me who is fighting against those sins, it is Christ who is living in me. It is not me who is going to live everyday, but Christ the Lord who is inside me. Thanks Lord for His amazing changes inside me. But truly, it is work of the Holy Spirit. I don't know how I will fall down again. I don't know. I pray that I will not fall down too often. Do not let the Holy Spirit to worry for me.

Lord, those are my prayer. Lord, first change me to love you more so that I can love myself, my parents, and brothers and sisters, and my friends more in my everyday life. I pray for the biggest gift, LOVE from you. Lord, give me such love that you love the people. Grant me such gift so that I can be your testimony. Lord, change me! Live inside me! Guide my life everyday! I know the day you are with me is the best day forever. I want it everyday! This is my prayer :D

I repent, don't let shame overthrow me

Lord, I confess my daily sin that against you! I know that you are holy and you make me to be holy also. However, my sin inside me leads me away from you today. I am not supposed to do so. I feel guilty and shame for doing that again and again but cannot eliminate it. Lord, help me out of the temptations, lead me out of trouble. Lord, I repent to you. I ask for your forgiveness! Don't let the guilt continue in me! I am not created to be like that. Help me out of it by the blood of Jesus. Let me understand the precious of Jesus's blood. Lead me through it. Sanctify me!

Lord, I praise your name. Let me focus on you more but let my own desire, my laziness be aside. I focus on your holiness. I like your righteousness. Help me out when I fall short glory of you. Help me resisting my old self with the power of holy spirit. I ask for your help, Lord! Help me out of my sinful desire. Help me to be like you more. Help me! Help me! LORD!

The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away

May the name of the LORD be praised!

How much faith does it require to say like this? Job, a man be seen as a righteous by God, has really demonstrate His faith in the LORD. Even when the LORD have taken away everything from him, every precious people away from him, he still praise the LORD. It makes me astounding. This is a life that every believer has to have. But how often can we do like this?

When I think about my current situation. Everything seems not going well as what I wanted. My adviser has left. Where shall I go? What is my future? Sometimes, I don't know what is God's plan for me, or I don't see his plan yet. Selfishly speaking, I would like to go with my adviser to UIUC. But is this God's plan? I am still waiting for the answer. I hope I can have a patient heart and a willing heart to accept what the LORD has prepared.

My LORD is wonderful! My heart will praise Him for what He has done! My mind is wishfully to wait for His preparation! My whole body is thankful for what God has done! May the name of the LORD be praised! Your name deserved praising! LORD, let me see what you see, and let me hear what you hear! It is you that I cherish the most! It is you who deserve all the praise! Even when we are in trouble, when we are waiting, when we are enjoying our life, you all deserve the praise!

May the name of the LORD be praised!

Blessed be YOUR Name!

When can people thank God? Today I think about this question a little bit.

Let's take it from the other way around, when will people not praise God? What comes to your mind? As part of human nature, when people are successful and when everything goes so smoothly, people may forget God very often because there is no need of God there. We may still sometimes be thankful to God about what things he had done, but most time it is not. So, maybe during the difficult, we will praise God? Is this true? Not necessary! When I was in trouble, or when I was waiting for something, most of the time I will complain to God saying when will you help me out? I may ask Him for help sometimes, but for many times, I will have no patience.

So, what time do we praise the Lord? Maybe during the time period when things change from bad to good. I have experienced that strong feeling before. I cannot express how happy I was by that time. My whole heart will devote to Him totally.

If it is so, why not praise Him during time when we are good and when we are waiting for something? I start to understand a little bit about what it means to praise the Lord always. Does my heart always desires Him more than others around me? Am I still looking something higher than Him? I have to ask me this question again and again.

I read some verses from Job. I like some of the verses from the book, which may explain my whole point

"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has takend away;
may the name of the LORD be praised.

In all this, Job did not sin by charging GOd with wrongdoing.
"
-- Job 1:21-22

"Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?

In all this, Job did not sin in what he said."
-- Job 2:10

"I know that you can do all things;
no plan of yours can be thwarted.
You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?'
Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
things too wonderful for me to know.

"You said, 'Listen now, and I will speak;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.'
My ears had heard of you
but now my eyes have seen you.
Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes."
-- Job 42:1-6

Oh, LORD! HALLOWED BE YOUR NAME!

Be a giant in action

It is always much easier to say then to do. I found this to be true in every area. Many times, I was hurt so many times because I can say many things but can actually do little. Congratulation if you do not have such feelings. When I have such feeling, my conscience condemn me so much that sometimes I feel so much burdened. I have a strong inner voice desiring to be a giant in action, not in speech.

I think all this is due to my sinful nature. I know many teachings from the bible, such as love others as yourself, flee from sexual immorality, be self-controlled, etc. however, I fall many times. When it comes to people I don't really like, I would not want to talk to them, I would sometimes look down on them. I know it will be a bad testimony for the Lord, but I just cannot help resisting them. When it comes to temptation, I cannot escape from falling again and again. I know I have to run away when temptation is coming, but I do not want to "run away". When it comes to distraction, I would spend many hours surfing the internet, watching TV shows during my study, and fail to finish the research or homework on time so that I have to work very late and have low efficiency the other day.

I know I would be much much joyful if I can get rid of these, my old self. I know I would be much peaceful if I can truly obey Lord's teaching and the Holy Spirit's guidance. However, many times, I found out to be so difficult to kill the old-self. Practical speaking, I would be much successful if I can get rid of those bad habits.

I know all these, but what can I do with them? One conclusion from all these failure is that I cannot do it by myself. I know my flesh like those stuff more than the opposite side, but my conscience like the opposite. To be practical, what should I do? I think there are several important notes to consider:

1. Realize it is hard to change. It is very easy to form bad habit, but much harder to discard. It takes time. Don't expect I can change tomorrow. But be consistent realizing these issues, and reminding myself I want to be better little by little.

2. Be obedient to the Holy Spirit. Actually, many times, I know when I did something that is against the Holy Spirit. The problem is, however, I purposely ignore that. A Christian's life is a life of obedience. First, I have to truly have faith in the Lord that He is actually living inside me, and I have the power from the Lord to resist the devil inside me. Second, I have to realize that even though sometimes, I did something badly against the Lord, He is still forgiving me. I should also remember if I did something that is bad, it will make the Lord sad.

Be a giant in action, but, at first, be a giant in Faith!