Every time when I cried so badly when I pray, I am really crying like a baby. It is not because of I lose something, or something really bad happens to me, it is because God's spirit touch my heart so deeply and so vividly. After the crying, I can feel something different, a peace that cannot be described, that is the assurance, knowing that God has controlled everything, either good or bad. He is in charge.
Today, after I watched Brother Leaf's preach, I was touched by how God changes his life and how God make a proud people into someone who is really humble in front of God. Praise the Lord! God urge me to pray to Him. I was deeply touched by His Spirit again so badly. In my pray, I have remembered many verses from the bible which I did not quite understand before. One verse is about: 'You can never see kingdom of God unless you are reborn.' This is from John 3 I guess. Wow, I suddenly realize. Yes, it is true. Unless we are reborn in Him, we can never understand God. We will thought the teaching from Jesus is foolish, we may complain to God very often because we don't understand some of His behavior. Wow, God's words are like a knife which pierce into my heart, making me truly thankful because He has chosen me even though I was so proud before. All I have is thanks to God, thank for His grace, which is totally free, which is the blood of Jesus Christ. Wow, how wonderful. God has given us the best thing in the world. That is one of the most wonderful time in my life.
The other verse I remembered is "Now, it is not me who live inside me, but Jesus Christ." I pray that God will let me to live everyday for Him, and let the Holy Spirit to guide my life within Him. Wow. That is also very wonderful. I know that is what has revealed inside my heart. Before, I was always confused how to deal with my sin everyday, such as procrastination, low efficiency, watch porn videos, lazy, proud, jealousy, and bitterness. I fall on those sins again and again. But I forgot what God said, it is not me who is fighting against those sins, it is Christ who is living in me. It is not me who is going to live everyday, but Christ the Lord who is inside me. Thanks Lord for His amazing changes inside me. But truly, it is work of the Holy Spirit. I don't know how I will fall down again. I don't know. I pray that I will not fall down too often. Do not let the Holy Spirit to worry for me.
Lord, those are my prayer. Lord, first change me to love you more so that I can love myself, my parents, and brothers and sisters, and my friends more in my everyday life. I pray for the biggest gift, LOVE from you. Lord, give me such love that you love the people. Grant me such gift so that I can be your testimony. Lord, change me! Live inside me! Guide my life everyday! I know the day you are with me is the best day forever. I want it everyday! This is my prayer :D
2012/01/23
I repent, don't let shame overthrow me
Lord, I confess my daily sin that against you! I know that you are holy and you make me to be holy also. However, my sin inside me leads me away from you today. I am not supposed to do so. I feel guilty and shame for doing that again and again but cannot eliminate it. Lord, help me out of the temptations, lead me out of trouble. Lord, I repent to you. I ask for your forgiveness! Don't let the guilt continue in me! I am not created to be like that. Help me out of it by the blood of Jesus. Let me understand the precious of Jesus's blood. Lead me through it. Sanctify me!
Lord, I praise your name. Let me focus on you more but let my own desire, my laziness be aside. I focus on your holiness. I like your righteousness. Help me out when I fall short glory of you. Help me resisting my old self with the power of holy spirit. I ask for your help, Lord! Help me out of my sinful desire. Help me to be like you more. Help me! Help me! LORD!
Lord, I praise your name. Let me focus on you more but let my own desire, my laziness be aside. I focus on your holiness. I like your righteousness. Help me out when I fall short glory of you. Help me resisting my old self with the power of holy spirit. I ask for your help, Lord! Help me out of my sinful desire. Help me to be like you more. Help me! Help me! LORD!
2012/01/22
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away
May the name of the LORD be praised!
How much faith does it require to say like this? Job, a man be seen as a righteous by God, has really demonstrate His faith in the LORD. Even when the LORD have taken away everything from him, every precious people away from him, he still praise the LORD. It makes me astounding. This is a life that every believer has to have. But how often can we do like this?
When I think about my current situation. Everything seems not going well as what I wanted. My adviser has left. Where shall I go? What is my future? Sometimes, I don't know what is God's plan for me, or I don't see his plan yet. Selfishly speaking, I would like to go with my adviser to UIUC. But is this God's plan? I am still waiting for the answer. I hope I can have a patient heart and a willing heart to accept what the LORD has prepared.
My LORD is wonderful! My heart will praise Him for what He has done! My mind is wishfully to wait for His preparation! My whole body is thankful for what God has done! May the name of the LORD be praised! Your name deserved praising! LORD, let me see what you see, and let me hear what you hear! It is you that I cherish the most! It is you who deserve all the praise! Even when we are in trouble, when we are waiting, when we are enjoying our life, you all deserve the praise!
May the name of the LORD be praised!
How much faith does it require to say like this? Job, a man be seen as a righteous by God, has really demonstrate His faith in the LORD. Even when the LORD have taken away everything from him, every precious people away from him, he still praise the LORD. It makes me astounding. This is a life that every believer has to have. But how often can we do like this?
When I think about my current situation. Everything seems not going well as what I wanted. My adviser has left. Where shall I go? What is my future? Sometimes, I don't know what is God's plan for me, or I don't see his plan yet. Selfishly speaking, I would like to go with my adviser to UIUC. But is this God's plan? I am still waiting for the answer. I hope I can have a patient heart and a willing heart to accept what the LORD has prepared.
My LORD is wonderful! My heart will praise Him for what He has done! My mind is wishfully to wait for His preparation! My whole body is thankful for what God has done! May the name of the LORD be praised! Your name deserved praising! LORD, let me see what you see, and let me hear what you hear! It is you that I cherish the most! It is you who deserve all the praise! Even when we are in trouble, when we are waiting, when we are enjoying our life, you all deserve the praise!
May the name of the LORD be praised!
2012/01/21
Blessed be YOUR Name!
When can people thank God? Today I think about this question a little bit.
Let's take it from the other way around, when will people not praise God? What comes to your mind? As part of human nature, when people are successful and when everything goes so smoothly, people may forget God very often because there is no need of God there. We may still sometimes be thankful to God about what things he had done, but most time it is not. So, maybe during the difficult, we will praise God? Is this true? Not necessary! When I was in trouble, or when I was waiting for something, most of the time I will complain to God saying when will you help me out? I may ask Him for help sometimes, but for many times, I will have no patience.
So, what time do we praise the Lord? Maybe during the time period when things change from bad to good. I have experienced that strong feeling before. I cannot express how happy I was by that time. My whole heart will devote to Him totally.
If it is so, why not praise Him during time when we are good and when we are waiting for something? I start to understand a little bit about what it means to praise the Lord always. Does my heart always desires Him more than others around me? Am I still looking something higher than Him? I have to ask me this question again and again.
I read some verses from Job. I like some of the verses from the book, which may explain my whole point
"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has takend away;
may the name of the LORD be praised.
In all this, Job did not sin by charging GOd with wrongdoing.
"
-- Job 1:21-22
"Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?
In all this, Job did not sin in what he said."
-- Job 2:10
"I know that you can do all things;
no plan of yours can be thwarted.
You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?'
Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
things too wonderful for me to know.
"You said, 'Listen now, and I will speak;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.'
My ears had heard of you
but now my eyes have seen you.
Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes."
-- Job 42:1-6
Oh, LORD! HALLOWED BE YOUR NAME!
Let's take it from the other way around, when will people not praise God? What comes to your mind? As part of human nature, when people are successful and when everything goes so smoothly, people may forget God very often because there is no need of God there. We may still sometimes be thankful to God about what things he had done, but most time it is not. So, maybe during the difficult, we will praise God? Is this true? Not necessary! When I was in trouble, or when I was waiting for something, most of the time I will complain to God saying when will you help me out? I may ask Him for help sometimes, but for many times, I will have no patience.
So, what time do we praise the Lord? Maybe during the time period when things change from bad to good. I have experienced that strong feeling before. I cannot express how happy I was by that time. My whole heart will devote to Him totally.
If it is so, why not praise Him during time when we are good and when we are waiting for something? I start to understand a little bit about what it means to praise the Lord always. Does my heart always desires Him more than others around me? Am I still looking something higher than Him? I have to ask me this question again and again.
I read some verses from Job. I like some of the verses from the book, which may explain my whole point
"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has takend away;
may the name of the LORD be praised.
In all this, Job did not sin by charging GOd with wrongdoing.
"
-- Job 1:21-22
"Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?
In all this, Job did not sin in what he said."
-- Job 2:10
"I know that you can do all things;
no plan of yours can be thwarted.
You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?'
Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
things too wonderful for me to know.
"You said, 'Listen now, and I will speak;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.'
My ears had heard of you
but now my eyes have seen you.
Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes."
-- Job 42:1-6
Oh, LORD! HALLOWED BE YOUR NAME!
2012/01/16
Be a giant in action
It is always much easier to say then to do. I found this to be true in every area. Many times, I was hurt so many times because I can say many things but can actually do little. Congratulation if you do not have such feelings. When I have such feeling, my conscience condemn me so much that sometimes I feel so much burdened. I have a strong inner voice desiring to be a giant in action, not in speech.
I think all this is due to my sinful nature. I know many teachings from the bible, such as love others as yourself, flee from sexual immorality, be self-controlled, etc. however, I fall many times. When it comes to people I don't really like, I would not want to talk to them, I would sometimes look down on them. I know it will be a bad testimony for the Lord, but I just cannot help resisting them. When it comes to temptation, I cannot escape from falling again and again. I know I have to run away when temptation is coming, but I do not want to "run away". When it comes to distraction, I would spend many hours surfing the internet, watching TV shows during my study, and fail to finish the research or homework on time so that I have to work very late and have low efficiency the other day.
I know I would be much much joyful if I can get rid of these, my old self. I know I would be much peaceful if I can truly obey Lord's teaching and the Holy Spirit's guidance. However, many times, I found out to be so difficult to kill the old-self. Practical speaking, I would be much successful if I can get rid of those bad habits.
I know all these, but what can I do with them? One conclusion from all these failure is that I cannot do it by myself. I know my flesh like those stuff more than the opposite side, but my conscience like the opposite. To be practical, what should I do? I think there are several important notes to consider:
1. Realize it is hard to change. It is very easy to form bad habit, but much harder to discard. It takes time. Don't expect I can change tomorrow. But be consistent realizing these issues, and reminding myself I want to be better little by little.
2. Be obedient to the Holy Spirit. Actually, many times, I know when I did something that is against the Holy Spirit. The problem is, however, I purposely ignore that. A Christian's life is a life of obedience. First, I have to truly have faith in the Lord that He is actually living inside me, and I have the power from the Lord to resist the devil inside me. Second, I have to realize that even though sometimes, I did something badly against the Lord, He is still forgiving me. I should also remember if I did something that is bad, it will make the Lord sad.
Be a giant in action, but, at first, be a giant in Faith!
I think all this is due to my sinful nature. I know many teachings from the bible, such as love others as yourself, flee from sexual immorality, be self-controlled, etc. however, I fall many times. When it comes to people I don't really like, I would not want to talk to them, I would sometimes look down on them. I know it will be a bad testimony for the Lord, but I just cannot help resisting them. When it comes to temptation, I cannot escape from falling again and again. I know I have to run away when temptation is coming, but I do not want to "run away". When it comes to distraction, I would spend many hours surfing the internet, watching TV shows during my study, and fail to finish the research or homework on time so that I have to work very late and have low efficiency the other day.
I know I would be much much joyful if I can get rid of these, my old self. I know I would be much peaceful if I can truly obey Lord's teaching and the Holy Spirit's guidance. However, many times, I found out to be so difficult to kill the old-self. Practical speaking, I would be much successful if I can get rid of those bad habits.
I know all these, but what can I do with them? One conclusion from all these failure is that I cannot do it by myself. I know my flesh like those stuff more than the opposite side, but my conscience like the opposite. To be practical, what should I do? I think there are several important notes to consider:
1. Realize it is hard to change. It is very easy to form bad habit, but much harder to discard. It takes time. Don't expect I can change tomorrow. But be consistent realizing these issues, and reminding myself I want to be better little by little.
2. Be obedient to the Holy Spirit. Actually, many times, I know when I did something that is against the Holy Spirit. The problem is, however, I purposely ignore that. A Christian's life is a life of obedience. First, I have to truly have faith in the Lord that He is actually living inside me, and I have the power from the Lord to resist the devil inside me. Second, I have to realize that even though sometimes, I did something badly against the Lord, He is still forgiving me. I should also remember if I did something that is bad, it will make the Lord sad.
Be a giant in action, but, at first, be a giant in Faith!
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