Self Control

Dear Holy Father,

I am so sorry for not obeying your command! I do my research in my own way, trying to solve every problems by myself, and not praise you at all; I am not loving other people as myself, I show no passion and no love to those whom I don't love much; I waste my time wondering online for about one hour, watching YouTube videos, but I make an excuse not having time to read and meditate on your words; I cannot control my eyes and hearts, and watch dirty, bloody things online; I cannot focus on doing things, but spend time listening to music when doing my job; I did not do things efficiently; I am not diligent enough to do the work that you assign me to do.

Father I have so many stuff that are out of my control. I know your commands well, to some point, but I just cannot escape from my old-self. What should I do? Father! I repent for what I have done not well; I pray that you can help me to renew my mind everyday to focus only on your words and your truth, but not get addicted by other things. Father, I know I cannot achieve that, but I pray that you can let the holy spirit to guide my life and everything. I pray that you can let me win over my old-self.

Father, You creator of the whole universe. You are King of the kings. Why should I do all the things just in my own effort, but not relying on you. Father, please forgive me! Forgive my pride, forgive my sin, forgive my lazy, forgive my cold heart, forgive my stubborn. I am so so sorry for what I have done today. I pray that you can forgive what I am doing today. And please let me submit more to your sovereign, and not rage against you! Father, please teach me, please splash me, please don't let me go! I am so sorry.

You said, "Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control." If I have no idea what is right and wrong; if I continue seeking something that is wrong; if I gave credit still to myself; if I do not love other people as myself; who am I? Am I not still a unbeliever?

You said, "If I declare with my mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in my heart that God raised him from the dead, I will be saved. For it is with my heart that I believe and are justified, and it is with my mouth that I profess my faith and are saved." Father, what is belief? It is relatively easy to believe in the mouth, but how about believe in my heart? Do I really believe in my heart? If I do, I will hate unrighteousness, I will not still rage against the Lord, I will not do everything still in my own way. Father, please let the holy spirit give me the power to reign over Satan, please keep me away from Satan's seduce, please help me understand your words more and meditate more.

Father, you glorious one in the heaven. Please lift me up spiritually from the sinful world, please help me to know your truth and your kingdom. Father, I am such a small people, my wisdom and strength are nothing in the eyes of you. Please help me to be humble, please let me to be awake of the sin. Father, you are the power one! Because of your grace, I have win over the sin. I don't have to fall into the sin again. Please continue sanctifying me, and make me purify, so that I will not be ashame in front of you in the judgement day.

Father, glories be all to you! I am happy because of you! I am satisfied because of you! I am not alone because of you! I am strong because of you! I am wise because of you! But all these glories be all to my heavenly father! You are my Lord, you are my everything! Father, please take my body to you, please take my whole life to your hand, please lead me in the right way in my life.

Father, thank you for listening to my prayer, and thank you for saving me. Please help me to win over my weakness, please!!!

In Jesus, I pray!