2011/08/22

I do believe, but help with my unbelief

Lord, how many times I forgot your amazing grace. You have shown to me clearly after I pray to you for healing my disease; you have shown what amazing thing you have done on Yue Ming when we went to deal with the difficult she faced; and you have guided me step by step to lead me to UNC Chapel Hill. Everything is under your control, but I forgot every of them. How many times I would rebel against you? How many times will I do in my own way for living my life or even when I serve you! Oh, Lord, give pity on me.

I do have experienced all the bless you promised to your children, but many times, I am without a thankful heart, I don't really obey your commandment to be your true disciple. But I know you have compassion on me, even though I fail you thousands of time, I know you still love me, and you still want to use everything planed by you before the age to teach me and to test my faith in you. Lord, come to observe my hearts and my minds to see whether there are something not in favor of you. If there are any, come to take it out from me. I am willing to let you to come into me fully and do whatever you want in me. Lord, come to see whether I am telling the truth or lying to you.

I know many times I have doubt in you, I am double-minded. But you taught us not to shake but to stand firm in our faith. Because you said for those who have faith in you, asking what is in favor of your mind, you will make it come true. Lord, I trust your word, I trust for all you have done to us is to save us and give us eternal life. How amazing the grace is! Why am I not satisfied with your grace? You have done a lot, much more than what we can image - You died for us because of our sin against you!

When can I really understand your grace and your greatness? Lord, come into me and guide my life. I am willing to open my heart to you and my pray is that you will come to my heart and use me, who are not deserved, to fulfill your plan. Lord, come to tell me what I should do because I am saved by you with a high price, I will use my whole life to pursue the humility you teach us.

Lord, I thank you for what you have done. And no matter what, I pray that you can hold my heart and my mind, and let me focus on you. You are all I deserve. I pray in Jesus name.

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