Before I was saved, I cannot understand Christianity, I cannot understand the bible neither. All I have is doubt and sometimes I even mock at the believers, thinking they are loser. I did not know that my pride in me has blocked the truth.
After a long time, about one year, I became a Christian, I still doubt about the existence of God from time to time, I am not sure whether I have been saved or not. One reason for this is that I still sin again and again, feeling like I am not saved at all. But this is all lies from Satan, he tries to separate me apart from the Gospel, which is Jesus Christ died for my sin and cleanse all the sin. I tried to increase my knowledge, and my understanding of the bible, but it makes no difference, I still struggled from time to time because I did not understand God's grace correctly, I still think I can gain favor from God by my action.
Until recently, the Holy Spirit is working strongly inside me. Sometimes, when I listen to some songs, I cried like a baby again and again; when I pray to God, I cried like a baby. I know clearly that it is not from myself. Again, God actually reveal Himself to me through Himself, not me to find Him. How amazing! This is the Gospel actually. It is not about me, it is about God. He select me, He save me, He set me totally free, He reveal Himself to me. I cannot deny all the thing God has done to my life.
Lord, I confess all my sin to you, all the previous wicked thing I have done, which is not in favor of your eyes. Lord, come to search my heart and cleanse it if you find anything bad. I totally submit myself to you, I know who you are! I give thanks for your grace, and your amazing work. Rejoice! I have eternal life!
I am so grateful for all you have done to me, Lord. Not because I deserved, but because of your grace. I am nothing, I am weak, but Lord you are powerful. Empty me, and fill your Holy Spirit inside me. Even the young and strong will get tired, but the one who has the Holy Spirit will soar like an eagle, and never get tired.
Praise the Lord! I just have so many thanks to you! Lord, give me the heart to grasp your promise! I know who you are, teach me what to do! Clean me, and use me! Thanks Lord!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment