Above all else, guard my heart

Proverbs 4:23
"Above all else, guard my heart, for it is the wellspring of life."

This is exactly true. Currently, I have been through very tough time, being tested by Satan! There are many reasons for it: One main cause is because recently I was so busy doing my work making me forget reading the Words and pray; the other is because I watched some BBC series of videos which shows that Jesus is some guy who wanted to challenge the Jew's law and religion to reform something. And because my old self has much doubts before about the divinity of Christ, the video just make my old self arouse again.

There are really many temptation outside the world. Think that you are living in a world whose value system is all about money, status, and self-goodness, how could we place God in our heart? We are just filled with so many information which make us blind to what is the truth. But every time I been trapped, I went back the scripture, its power just strike me again and again. It is not like what the world teaches us. The world just has so many misunderstanding or partial understanding for the Bible. For example, the BBC series of videos say that Jesus is some political guy and listed many hypothesis to support this idea. It may look reasonable if you don't have any idea about what the Bible has said. But look what the Bible said, what the disciple wrote about Jesus, what the pharisee said to Jesus, what Jesus taught to the people and his disciples. He is telling the truth. Think about another way. All Jews should at least believe God. If Jesus is not Son of God, and he proclaim to be Son of God. Wouldn't he be afraid to be cast into hell after he died? Even if Jesus tried to lie to people, why should he die? Then he gains nothing from it! Is there any people on the earth who will do that? Besides, not only Jesus, even his many disciples died for the truth, but they just ran away when Jesus is died.

There should be many many evidence to be listed to against such idea, but apparently I can easily be led astray by the worldly thinking and worthy system. My faith will be challenged from time to time. But the truth can stand with testing.

Currently, I am still struggling with the final few hours for the deadline for ICCV. But I am afraid anymore, because I know God is with me! God gives me wisdom! Not the wisdom from the world, but the wisdom to know Christ! The wisdom of Cross!

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Am my ear dull?

Isaiah 6:9
He said, "Go and tell this people:
"'Be ever hearing, but never understanding;
be ever seeing, but never perceiving.'
Make the heart of this people calloused;
make their ears dull
and close their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
hear with their ears,
understand with their hearts,
and turn and be healed."

This afternoon, I should focus on finishing works that I have to finish, but I spend almost the whole afternoon watching Buddhism and some BBC channel videos about the history about Jesus. And my heart is not peaceful again. There are two reasons affecting this:

1. The videos about Buddhism. Somehow I can sense the teaching in the video is wrong because I know the truth from the Bible. But, outwardly speaking, it is very similar to the preach in the church. After I watch those videos, somehow I was confused what is the truth. Jesus said he is the truth, he is the way. But Buddhism also says that Buddhism is the truth. I don't know when I became so religious. Although the pastor always said that believing in God is not believing religion, I am definitely just believe a religion now. Satan speaks again in my ear and in my heart, and wants to lead astray of my way. Leave me, Satan! In Jesus name!

2. The other things are the BBC channel videos about Jesus. They describe the historical and many other facts about the early life about Jesus, and link Jesus's life with politics, religious, which is definitely against with what I have been taught in the church. In the series of video, they want to show the scientific aspects about the life about Jesus, and use many hypothesis and evidence to disapprove the deity of Jesus. They definitely know many things about bible, but it seems like they only pick part of the verses from the bible to explain things. If Jesus did all he had done not because He is son of God, then how pity we are as a Christian?

I am of little faith now again. I went to my room to pray to God to show me the truth and help me to regain faith. But I know Satan constantly uses the scientific thinking to rebuke my faith, to defeat me. God, I believe you are the truth of my life, and Jesus is not a plot or lie. Father, show me the truth.

I want to seek the truth. What is the truth in the world? How can I purify my body and my mind? I know I cannot do it by myself, but God can finish all these things. God, I am of little faith now. I pray for the faith! I pray that you do not let me go! I pray that I can be more like Jesus Christ!

Be Obedient

Dear Heavenly Father,

Do you really exist? Are you just something created in human being's mind? If this world comes from randomness, and comes to nothing at the end, why do we live on this earth? Why do you create us? Where are we from? Why are we living?

Every time I want to deny you, but when I think all of these problems, I can see that you are laughing. But father, you did not abandon us, you are always with us. You choose the Israelites as your people first; then you send your son to all the human being. If all of this is not true and just a lie, then we are the tragic ones because we believe in vain. Just as apostle paul said, if Jesus Christ is not true, then our belief is in vain. Father, I believe you exist and all these things are true. But I should admit that sometimes I still doubt, I come to question you, but I cannot deny you, deny the truth and things happen around me which shows that you really exist!

Father, today we have learnt one message from John 5:19-30 where Jesus Christ shows His identity and His submission to you, my heavenly father! Today, I gave a hug to the homeless people just outside of Giant Eagle, at that moment, God, you bring me close to them, with nothing between us. We know that the love is within us!

I always thought, what is the most valuable things in the world? Why do we spend all our effort and time everyday? The ultimate answer is Love! And Love is you, Jesus Christ and God! If there is no love, in other words, no God, what is the meaning of all our effort? Everything is in vain, everything will be meaningless!

Father, you are love! You are the truth! Please Let me know and see this clearly! Without you, we are nothing, we are in vain! Father, give me more faith when I am of little faith! Give me a heart to love other people, especially the low people! Please give me a humble heart! Please let me be obedient to your commandments! No matter what you did in my life, and what you plan is for me, I believe it is the best for me!

Father, I trust you! I believe you! The Bible is the words that you said to our human being! You are the creator of everything and everybody! Father! I love you! Hope your love be with all of us! Wish your kingdom can come soon!

Amen,
Your son and slave,
Wei

It is time to read

Tonight, I spent a few hours reading dahua's blog again. I have learned a lot from him, and get inspired a lot. I can see how he consistently believes what he believes, and do what he thinks is good. He is a real scholar, and a life lover. But still pray that he can also know God some day.

I, and many others, always complain that the research is garbage. But the reason we say this is because we are producing garbage. But dahua really shows his passion for doing research, and his continuous effort on the road. I should learn more from him, and change my attitude toward the research. And I have a strong desire to read the book listed in his blog to build up the foundation for my future research. Hope this time, for the seek of God, I can make it!

It is, in fact, very sad that I may be moved by his blog every time I read it. But after a few days without reading his blog, I will return to my own world, and continue doing in my own way and am proud of what I am doing. I was never changed!

Actually, it is the same for many many things except the research! A lot of time, we will changed by our environment around us and forget the initial good things. If we can keep our faith, and continue seeking the truth, we will be different. It is also the same for faith in Christ! Every time I read God's words, I feel really good and am impressed a lot by the words, but I cannot consistently keep it and maybe uniformed by the outside world for some period of time. If I, Liu Wei, believe something is good, I should consist in that, and work out that little by little, I am sure I will seek the truth one day!

At last, the other thing I can see is that everyone, even dahua, seeks love and relationship a lot, that is why there is a saying: if everything goes away, love will never leave! To me, love is God! I am loved by God! Forgive my sin, and give me totally free, and give me faith in you, and seek the truth and wisdom for my whole life! I am so happy to be child of God!

It is time to read God's words, and pray to him! God, come to renew my mind everyday, so I will not be astray from your truth and from your words!

Amen!

The difference between Christian and Non-Christian

What is the difference between Christian and Non-Christian? I try to think about it currently and want to summarize it a little bit.

First, as a Christian, we all think that we are sinners. The more you know Christ, the more sinful you feel you are, but the more blessed you are because Christ's grace will be abundant for you. Some people may be strange about why do people think they are sinners. Are not the Christian like a nerd? I thought in this way before. I thought I was really a good guy. But the more I know Christ, the more I read the Holy Bible, the more sensitive I am to sin. Then what is the SIN? The biggest one is don't know God and disobey His commandments. That leads almost to all the sins for the whole human being. Because we don't obey God, we are all self-centered, we are jealous, we hate people, we complain other people, we commit adultery, we have many idols, etc. All these things lead us astray from God.

Second, it is not enough for us to know we are sinners, but we commit our sin to God. It does not mean Christian will be happy always, or will have good life, but on the other hand, Christian always suffer because of their faith. Also, Christian will also get pissed off when something bad happens, for example, someone broke your car, you will also be angry at first. Christians are just the saved sinners!!! We are of no difference in that sense. But because we know we are sinner, every time we cannot control ourselves, we sin; however, we commit our sin to God and to ask for God's forgiveness. And because God is full of love and justice, He may still charge us some bad results because of our sin, but we are still be loved by God because He loves us from the beginning to the end. To make it easy to understand, just like the situation with father and child. Every time the child has done some bad thing, the father will show his justice to his child to teach him, but he still love the child so much. Our heavenly father is similar to that, but His love is much much more than that, and He even kill His own son to show His justice and His love. And all His love, wisdom is in that!!!

Finally, we have the Holy Spirit inside us, who renew us everyday and make us be more Christ like. It maybe hard to understand what is Holy Spirit. It is some sort of scaring thing. But actually, according to the Bible, the Holy Spirit testifies the Father and the Son. And it has God's power in it to change people's heart, to let people see God, and to show miracles sometimes even. Because we have the Holy Spirit inside us, we are not just ourselves anymore, but God's spirit is with us. We cannot see it, we cannot touch it, we cannot smell it, but we can see the fruit of it, such as love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control. Just like the wind, we cannot see it, but we can see the result of it when it goes over some trees. Because we have that, we can see the true Christian will even joyful in their stressful time, they will cheer even in the sad time, because they know that is what God has prepared for them, and they have faith and hope that God's plan is the best.

That is basically some of my current thought on it. It may not be quite correct or precisely described, but sure it really makes us Christian to think seriously what we should be like. We are the saved sinners, but because of Christ's blood, we can be reborn again, and can be cleansed and purified through our whole life so that when we see God finally in the judgement day, we will be blameless and be full of joy! Actually, now we are in heaven be with God if you truly have the faith.

Father, praise be all to your name, let your will be done!

Amen