What is the major difference separating Christianity from other religious? The answer is God's Grace!!! And the grace is free from God, and the only work that the believer has to do is to believe in the Son of God, Jesus Christ! And anyone, no matter whether he is rich, poor; powerful, low; healthy, weak all have the same free gift! What an amazing statement!!! Except Jesus Christ, the son of God, who else dare to say this? Even someone said this and have many believers, but time will prove everything!
I was literally saved on Aug. 1st, 2010. The remarkable date that I claim to be married to Jesus Christ. I still remembered clearly the tough time I have been through before I know Christ, and how God struck me down and make me humble. I also remembered how I doubt about the bible, laughed at the believers how stupid and lowly they are, and asked many many questions in the bible study. And how remarkably I turn 180 degree around to believe in God and give up my questions to faith and decided to be baptized. All this are wonderful to me, and lead me in front of God.
And I really enjoyed the Honeymoon day with Christ, and how I cried out a lot like a baby when I listen to some music; how I was moved and inspired by the words of the bible; and how exciting that He gives me the offer from UNC in unexpected time according to what my friends and I consistently pray for; and how peaceful I become as a Christian.
But things never went just in good direction. Although I claimed to be a Christian publicly, but I should admit that a lot of time I am afraid to claim my religious status among my non-christian friends. Although I can preach Gospel well to people who are interested, claiming the essential idea of Faith, when I am alone, I am still struggle with my faith and have doubt about all the things happened. Although I have more services in the church and in the small cell group, I somehow still do all these things according to my flesh and do not have a clear idea what it means to do it for Christ. Although I have been purified by God, I always come back to my old life and do the things that I used to do and God don't like.
I struggle, I doubt, I sink, I self-centered. With all the voice around me with atheist; all the voice about money, status, papers, work, wife, children; all the arguments about the faith; all the bad things happened around; and the normally life happened everyday without any change, make me feel far far away from God. I lose the passion I had before in the honeymoon. I become used to every religious activities I have done, I become more and more out and just want to be a bystander. But I cannot turn back anymore, because the things without God is horrible to me. I cannot turn back anymore, because what I have experienced and learned from the bible tells me it is good stuff. I cannot turn back anymore, because I have so many good Christian friends.
But is that what I want to be? Jesus said He comes to give us life and eternal freedom. What that means? Do I have to remain the religious things because I cannot turn back? Do I have to pretend to do all these good things to look godly? What does God's grace really mean? It means BELIEF!!! That is all we need! God don't need us to do anything for him; God does not need us to persuasive other people through our knowledge about the bible; God does not need us to obey the sabbath! All He need for us is to BELIEVE Jesus Christ! And He will give the freedom and grace freely to us! Before we behave godly more, let us believe more! And He will give us the life and eternal freedom!
Little prayer:
Heavenly father, I thank you for the free gift that you gave to us as your children. I thank you for saving us with a big prize that you kill your son for our sins. I thank you for your promise that if we believe, we will have life and freedom. Father, give me wisdom to understand more! Give me wisdom to know your will more! And give me faith because I am of little faith! Father, I also repent for my sin! I repent that you will purify my body and do not let me watch porn anymore! I repent that you will purify my mouth that I will not say things that hurt people anymore! I repent that you will clean my mind that I will only focus on you and see other things as meaningless! I repent about my pride, my self-center, and my hard heart! Father, without your love and your promising, I will surely fall out and go far away from you. But you are faithful, but I am faithless! You are righteous but I am wicked! Father, let your Gospel be source of everything for me to cleanse me and renew me everyday! I pray in Jesus name! Amen!
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